So, I don't think I'm going to beat myself up for being so melodramatic and depressed last night. I mean, I think one night of crying after being told he's not interested in you is allowed. So, today, I had a little trouble getting going. I had emailed my gal-pal about the whole thing last night, where I actually didn't cry. But I read her response and wrote back today, and then the tears fell. I cried for like, 10 minutes before I decided I definitely could not just sit around in a pity party, though that would be so self-indulgent.
So, I went to the apartment gym and spun for 30 minutes. Then I did a little stair stepping, nothing hard this morning. Then pool. Then shopping! Nothing is better than going around and finding incredibly cute things, and even buying some of them. I spent $240 today which felt amazing, and got some great things for the summer! Then I went and had a real workout with Kevin as my own personal trainer. It was kinda cool, him doing a set, and my copying it on a lower weight. He was pretty surprised at what I could bench my first time.
After, we went back to his place. I got a smoothie, and a tuna wrap that was wonderful. Then we sat around and talked. He asked about Nathaniel and I told him what was going on. He said that sucks, but that I shouldn't give up because he may very well decide that letting me go was a mistake. So, I'll stay around as friends. Then, surprise surprise, Nathaniel comes over. I was intent on not being awkward and just being myself. So I did. He occasionally had an awkward moment, like when Kevin went to walk the dog, and we were alone. I was acting as if he hadn't basically crushed my hopes (okay, a little melodrama still to be expected), and he took a few moments to get it together. I think I caught him off guard by acting so normal. Well, here's to making him want me. With the working out and weight loss, I'll be hot by the end of summer.
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