Why do I do this to myself?

So, I have spent a while away from angsty situations. Hence the lack of updates here. I seem to want to write more when I'm upset. How typical. So, I spent most of this summer having a lot of fun between the sheets. I mean, compared to some gay boys' records, I love positively chaste. But I went from pretty much inexperienced to quite the opposite. And in between all the whorishness (yeah, I'll admit I've been a whore. and?) I even had a boyfriend. My first real relationship.

Anyway... that's all well and good, but not the point of this post. The point is the current situation. There's a boy who I've known about for a while. I finally met him for real at the club on friday and we danced for a couple hours and whatnot. Then come monday he asks if i wanna play around, so i said yes. I know he's also fucking someone else. I'm friends with that person, and in fact, I've fucked around with that person as well. Well, I knew he would continue to fool around with him, and I made the choice to go ahead and do this anyway. And I've gone out with him and played again since. But now when he talks about the other guy, I get jealous! Damn it. I knew this would happen. But I have no claim. And I've fooled around with someone else since the first time he and i did. I don't know. I've completely lost my ability to form this in anyway that's coherant. lol